


Of Furbies and Dark Magic

by xslytherclawx



Series: HP Rare Pair Bingo - Round 1 [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Furbies, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter Rare Pair Bingo: Round 1, Herbologist Neville Longbottom, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 22:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21084233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: Neville can feel it watching him with its glassy, unblinking eyes. More than that; it’s judging him.Anthony pulls away. “Nev, calm down. It’s just a toy.”Neville isn't convinced.





	Of Furbies and Dark Magic

**Author's Note:**

> this was one of my favourite prompts for [harry potter rare pair bingo](http://hprarepairbingo.tumblr.com/) \- P011: Character A gets a Furby. Character B thinks it's some sort of dark magic. (setting: 1998 or later)
> 
> established relationship, not technically related to anything else i've posted, however it's within my greater harry potter multiverse, and so includes some characters from that. (nothing you need to read anything else to understand)

Neville can feel it watching him with its glassy, unblinking eyes. More than that; it’s  _ judging _ him.

Anthony pulls away. “Nev, calm down. It’s just a toy.”

But Neville isn’t so sure about that; he’s seen a lot of crazy things in his nearly twenty years. “It feels like it’s watching me.”

“It’s not watching you. Or me. It’s a  _ Muggle _ toy; it  _ can’t _ watch us.”

Neville really isn’t convinced. He trusts Anthony, of course – after all they’d been through, how could he not? – but that doesn’t mean that he trusts whoever gave him the toy.

Anthony sighs. “Shall I put it in the wardrobe?”

“It  _ is _ quite unsettling,” Neville says, by which he means  _ yes, please. _

Anthony kisses him. “I’ll put it in the wardrobe, and  _ then, _ I’ll fuck you so good you’ll forget it even exists, yeah?”

Even if Neville weren’t concerned about the toy coming alive and murdering them, it isn’t as if he’d turn Anthony down on that offer.

* * *

Afterward, in bed, all thoughts of the unsettling toy have been solidly wiped out of his mind by Anthony, and his cock and his hands. Neville falls asleep with his boyfriend curled up around him, which is, in his opinion, the very best way to fall asleep. He doesn’t even have any nightmares.

He wakes up in a tangled mess with Anthony, who is still sleeping soundly. Neville can’t help but stare at him; how the hell has he managed to get such a wonderful, gorgeous, brilliant boyfriend? Sometimes he wonders what Anthony even sees in him, but he’s usually able to shake that thought when it occurs.

He’s worthy of love, even from someone as intimidatingly perfect as Anthony. And Anthony loves him, as impossible as it may have seemed to him even three years ago. Anthony was the one to ask  _ him _ out, and Neville feels grateful that he did every day.

He kisses Anthony’s forehead and gets out of bed to brush his teeth and use the bathroom. As he’s walking by the wardrobe, he hears a strange noise – it sounds almost like a creature, but no creature he’s ever encountered. His first, somewhat delirious thought is that Luna’s been right all along, and crumple-horned snorkacks  _ do _ exist, and one’s somehow found its way into Anthony’s wardrobe.

After half a second, however, he remembers that ridiculous, deeply unsettling toy.

“Er… Anth?” he calls. Anthony is, for better or worse, generally a pretty light sleeper, so Neville’s confident he can rouse him. If the toy  _ is _ cursed, he doesn’t want to turn his back to it when he doesn’t even have his wand.

“Mmph?” comes the reply from the bed.

“Anthony.”

“What?” His voice is sleepy and muddled, but at least he doesn’t sound annoyed.

“I think your completely normal, and definitely  _ not _ enchanted Muggle toy is doing something in the wardrobe.”

He chances a glance out of the corner of his eye to see Anthony rubbing at his eyes. “What?”

“Listen.”

Anthony, to his credit, does. The toy won’t stop making noise, and Anthony frowns. “That can’t be normal.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Neville says.

Anthony gets out of bed and walks over to the wardrobe. “My  _ cousin _ gave it to me. My uncles wouldn’t let him give me a cursed toy – not that I think he’d really even try.”

“All right,” Neville says, but what other explanation is there?

Anthony opens the wardrobe, where the disturbing toy is sitting on one of the shelves. It’s exactly where Anthony left it, which would be reassuring, were it not for the fact that its eyes are open and it’s chattering away.

“Er,” Anthony says. “I don’t think it should be doing that.”

“You know, I really don’t think your twelve-year-old cousin would  _ intentionally _ give you a cursed toy, but…”

“No, yeah,” Anthony agrees. “It’s weird.”

He runs back to the bedside table to get his wand, while Neville keeps his eyes on the toy, which he’s pretty sure is cursed, regardless.

Anthony returns, wand in hand, and casts a few cursory spells to see what they’re dealing with. Nothing out of the ordinary happens. 

“It doesn’t  _ seem _ to be cursed.” He looks as alarmed as Neville feels. “Maybe we should ask someone else? My gran and my Uncle Dan are Muggleborns, but… maybe someone from the D.A. might be a better bet? I don’t think either of them are that familiar with cursed objects.”

Neville’s mind immediately goes to Ginny and Ron. “Mr. Weasley – Ginny and Ron and Fred and George’s dad – works in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. He might – I can ask Ginny if he can help. I don’t think she knows much about it, but she could at least get us in with him – and he was in the Order.”

“That might be a good idea,” Anthony says. “I’ll, er…” He conjures a tiny trunk, which he puts the toy in without touching it, and sets about a dozen protective charms on top of it. “Just in case.”

It’s a relief to see that Anthony is as worked up about it as Neville is. Not that he really  _ wants _ to see Anthony nervous about a toy that his cousin gave him for his birthday, but it’s nice to know he’s not overreacting this time. Or, at least, that if he is, Anthony is right there with him.

They shower, get dressed, and Neville Floos Ginny, who tells him to just go ahead and bring it in to her father’s office at the Ministry. She promises to let him know, so it’s not a surprise.

Neville hates going to the Ministry. Barring some mildly traumatic experiences (first in fifth year, and then during several key trials after his seventh), it’s more that people there always seem to  _ recognise _ him. The last time went, Robards, the Head Auror, tried to recruit him. Robards hadn’t even seen what Neville had done, of course; he was only going off of what Harry and Ron had doubtlessly told him.

The thing is, Neville isn’t a hero. He only did what any decent person would have done in his place. That’s all there is to it. He doesn’t like to think about the forces that pushed him to do what he did, but, really, he isn’t a hero. And Ginny and Luna did just as much – if not more – than he ever did, and they never seem to get half the recognition he does, which just isn’t fair.

As he and Anthony walk through the Atrium, Neville is acutely aware of all of the eyes on him. Anthony laces their fingers together, which anchors him a bit. Really, beyond the stares and one person asking him if he was really Neville Longbottom, in the flesh, it’s not as bad as it could be. They manage to get to the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office with time to spare.

Arthur Weasley greets them both warmly, more befitting a close friend than a near-stranger, even though Neville’s sure he can’t have met him more than a few times before. Sure, Ginny is one of his best friends, and he absolutely considers Ron a friend as well, but that doesn’t mean that he’d anticipated this sort of welcome. But then he’d apparently misjudged Mr. Weasley.

“So let’s see this object that you think may be cursed,” Arthur Weasley says.

Anthony pulls the tiny trunk out of his bad. “We both cast pretty much all the quick spells we knew to detect dark magic, and nothing seemed to be wrong, but it’s… still quite disturbing.” He opens the trunk, and Mr. Weasley peers inside.

“Fascinating,” he says. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“Not at all,” Anthony says. He takes the toy out of the trunk and sets it on a desk, taking great care not to touch it.

The toy is just as disturbing in the light of day as it was in the dark of Anthony’s bedroom – which is saying something. Once placed on the desk, it starts moving and chattering, making an odd whirring sound the whole time.

Mr. Weasley observes it for a bit, murmuring things like, “incredible” and “now, how does it do  _ that?” _ before turning back to them. “I’d like to strip it down, if that’s all right with you. We can do it now, though if you’d be all right with leaving it with me for a few days…”

“Yeah, of course,” Anthony says. “Just let us know; we both live in London, and either one of us can pick it back up.”

* * *

A week later, Mr. Weasley still doesn’t have any answers.

“I can’t seem to find anything magical about this object,” he says when Neville and Anthony come to collect it. “We’ve done everything we can. I’ve stripped it completely – there’s nothing of any magical origin here. It simply appears to be some very clever Muggle technology. Muggles really  _ are _ quite clever, don’t you think?”

“Er, yeah,” Neville says. He knows, despite Mr. Weasley’s appearance and attitude, that there really is no one more well-versed in cursed Muggle artefacts – so much so that he’d been called in to be head of the department again once it had been expanded after the war. With a raise, somehow. If Mr. Weasley can’t find anything wrong with it, it’s completely reasonable to draw the conclusion that nothing  _ is _ wrong with it. “Thank you, again, Mr. Weasley.”

“Of course, of course,” he says. “After everything you’ve done – and I’m not talking about the snake. Ginny told us what the three of you were doing – keeping as many people safe as possible, speaking up when it would have been much easier for you, of all people, to keep quiet. It’s the least I can do to help you when you ask.”

“Oh,” Neville says. “Thank you, Mr. Weasley, but I was really only doing what anyone else would have done.”

He doesn’t quite think Mr. Weasley believes him, but he doesn’t protest.

* * *

The problem is that the toy keeps going off. Neither Neville nor Anthony have any idea what to do, so the solution, more often than not, is simply to go to the flat Neville shares with Luna instead.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Of course, as much as Neville adores Luna (and he does; he’s pretty sure he was half in love with her from fifth year through seventh year, but things really didn’t work out between them in any romantic sense, and it’s probably been too easy to put all that behind them), there’s something to be said about the hassle of trying to have sex with your boyfriend when there’s another person living in the flat, who might just pop in at any moment.

Being at Neville and Luna’s flat means privacy charms and making sure the door is  _ completely _ shut (just in case) and being careful not to let things get too heated in common areas. And it’s fine – it’s common courtesy, and Neville knows Luna does the same thing. He’s not stupid enough to think that she never has anyone over, but he’s never had to see it or hear it, and it’s the least he can do to return the favour. But it’s not the same as being able to do basically whatever they want, sex-wise, at Anthony’s flat.

And then Anthony surprises him by asking him to move in.

Neville’s perfectly content in his flat with Luna. It’s located centrally in Diagon Alley, while Anthony’s flat is in a little wizarding Jewish community in North London. Neville and Luna are best friends, and yet somehow make wonderful flatmates. They’re used to each other’s quirks – but then, by now, Neville is used to all of Anthony’s, as well.

Anthony brings up the excellent point that they nearly live together as it is. They’ve been together for over two years – pretty much since the beginning of their eighth year – and perhaps it’s moving a bit fast, but Anthony says that he can’t imagine being so comfortable with another person, and, really, Neville is inclined to agree.

So he does. He says yes, and he works everything out with Luna (who assures him that she can afford the flat on her own, but maybe she’ll ask Ginny to move in, just for the company).

He moves into Anthony’s flat, since Anthony already lives alone. The flat gets enough sun for his plants, and his Herbology books look right at home between Anthony’s Healing and history books. Anthony drapes the quilt Luna made Neville for Christmas the year before over the back of the sofa, bringing a splash of Gryffindor red and gold to the otherwise muted blues and whites of the flat.

It’s almost alarming how easy it is to move his things in and feel at home, and Anthony is accomodating. On Friday, after he moves in, Anthony takes him to his parents’ house, which is a short walk away, for shabbos dinner. He loves Anthony’s parents; his father is perhaps a bit serious, but he’s warm and welcoming, and his mother is kind and funny and doting. 

By now, he’s mostly able to push aside the dull ache that comes from thinking of what he could have had if Bellatrix Lestrange hadn’t taken matters into her own hands. It’s not a productive line of thought, and everyone’s lost someone between the two wars. Plenty of people have it worse. His grandmother, for all her faults, loves him and has always loved him (even if she wasn’t always great at showing it, when he was younger), and it’s not as if he’s the only war orphan.

Besides, Anthony’s parents, though not even his parents-in-law (because marriage isn’t quite a thought on anyone’s mind yet), always make him feel like he’s part of the family.

* * *

This time, the toy wakes him up in the middle of the night. He tries to roll over and go back to sleep, but it just won’t stop making noise.

“I can’t believe that bloody thing isn’t cursed,” Anthony mutters.

“Neither can I.”

The toy, if anything, seems to get louder.

“Do you think your cousin will mind if we destroy it?” Neville asks.

“Probably,” Anthony says. He scrubs at his face. “There’s no way this is normal.”

“No,” Neville agrees.

In the end, they cast a muffling charm on the wardrobe, which seems to do the trick. Neville pulls Anthony close and manages to fall back asleep.

* * *

They run into Justin at the Leaky Cauldron that night. He seems quite interested in the disturbing, apparently  _ not _ cursed toy when they tell him about it.

“Have you considered a Muggle root to the problem?” he asks.

Neville and Anthony exchange a look. They really haven’t. But then, Neville is a Pureblood, and while Anthony  _ is _ a Half-Blood, his closest Muggle relatives are his great-grandparents. Neither of them have a wealth of knowledge when it comes to Muggle things, and neither of them have considered that it might be a  _ Muggle _ problem.

So they agree easily that Justin should come over to take a look at it, which he does. 

Justin takes one look at the toy and laughs. “Of course it’s a Furby,” he says. “Have either of you tried taking out the batteries?”

The what? Anthony seems a bit less confused, because he doesn’t ask what “batteries” are, and instead says, “...No, we haven’t.”

Justin picks up the toy with his bare hands, waves his wand, and pulls open a panel at the base of the toy. He takes out four small, metal cylinders, and hands them to Anthony.

“I think that should do it. Though, naturally, if you’d prefer to keep it locked in the wardrobe, I couldn’t blame you. Those toys are disturbing – my niece has one. The Muggle news said a while ago that some people think they’re possessed, which is really sort of the same thing as cursed, but if you take the batteries out, it’ll stop.”

“Really wish one of my uncles had told me that,” Anthony says. “Thank you.”

“Oh, of course,” Justin says. “I’m happy to help.”

* * *

Unfortunately, that very night, the toy starts making noise again.

“Are you  _ kidding _ me?” Neville groans. “I thought Justin fixed it.”

“He  _ did _ take the batteries out,” Anthony says. “That  _ should _ have fixed it.”

He can’t imagine what the hell is wrong with this toy. It’s not dark magic – it’s not any magic – and Justin was supposed to have taken out those cylinders which  _ apparently _ is what made it work the Muggle way.

It’s late, and they know by now it’s not anything dangerous (only annoying), so they cast silencing charms on it.

“Maybe we should write Hermione,” Neville says as Anthony lays back down and kisses him.

“She  _ is _ the smartest person either of us know,” Anthony agrees.

“And… you know… since we’re already up…” Neville kisses him and slides a hand down his chest.

“Neither of us  _ do _ have work in the morning,” Anthony says.

* * *

They stay in bed late, go for another round. It’s nearly noon before Neville manages to write Hermione. He can’t quite say he regrets it, because he loves Anthony, and he’s more annoyed about the toy at this point than concerned.

But it still  _ is _ annoying to have to keep casting silencing charms on it, and besides, he does want to know why it just won’t stop.

Anthony’s still insistent that they can’t get rid of it, because it would hurt his cousin’s feelings. Neville understands – he does – but they’re both annoyed about the toy, and Hermione might be their last hope to figure out what the hell is going on. 

If she can’t figure it out, then they’ll have to revisit that discussion.

Neville makes lunch, and Anthony is washing the dishes afterward when Hermione’s owl taps on the window. Neville lets her in, takes the letter, and gives the owl a treat.

He skims the letter – Hermione says she can come by after dinner. He tells Anthony, who agrees that it sounds like a good idea, so he writes her back to confirm.

Then they spend the rest of the afternoon having sex. It’s their day off, and the novelty of living together, properly, hasn’t quite worn off yet.

Hermione stops by after dinner, takes one look at the toy, and asks, “And you say Justin took the batteries out?”

“Yeah,” Anthony says. “And Ginny and Ron’s dad said he stripped it – there’s nothing magical about it at all. But it’s still making noise.”

As if on cue, the toy moves and chatters.

“There are a lot of Wizarding families around here, aren’t there?” Hermione asks.

“The whole building’s Witches and Wizards,” Anthony says. “And most of the neighbourhood.”

“That might very well be all there is to it,” Hermione says. “Have you tried taking it out of this area? You said your cousin gave it to you?”

“He did,” Anthony says. 

“Does he live in a Muggle area?”

“I think so,” Anthony says. “I’m not entirely sure.”

“If he does, it would probably behave normally in a house with just  _ one _ Wizard family – but there’s a reason Muggleborns who live in Magical areas don’t keep televisions or personal computers. I know this isn’t nearly so complex as a personal computer, but all the magic in this area might be making this act up.”

Neville vaguely recalls learning something about magic making Muggle technology go haywire, but that had always been in the context of Hogwarts or Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. If it were  _ everywhere  _ Wizards were, then there’d be no way towns like Godric’s Hollow and Ottery St. Catchpole could have Wizards and Muggles cohabitating.

So he says as much to Hermione, who nods. “Well, that’s true, but the issue here is most likely the building. In Godric’s Hollow and Ottery St. Catchpole, there’s enough dispersion – really, they haven’t got Wizarding quarters and Muggle quarters – that there doesn’t seem to be any problem. In this building, you’ve got multiple  _ families _ of Witches and Wizards all using magic. Of course, there could be another reason it’s acting like this, but if you’ve already had it checked for Dark Magic and taken the batteries out… this seems like the most likely solution.”

It seems simple enough, so even though they feel ridiculous, they take the toy to a Muggle park, where they sit on the bench and talk to Hermione about work (Anthony’s nearly finished his Healer training, Neville is making excellent progress in his Herbology apprenticeship, and Hermione has a list of unjust and outdated laws she’s planning on petitioning against).

Remarkably, though, the toy doesn’t move. It doesn’t make a single sound. It’s as still and quiet as Neville’s ever seen it.

“Shouldn’t my uncles have known better, though, if that’s all it is?” Anthony asks. “It’s not as if neither of them are unfamiliar with technology.” The implication that they’re both Wizards is left unsaid.

“Did either of them ever live somewhere like we do?” Hermione asks.

Anthony shrugs. “I think Uncle Isaac lived in Diagon for a while after school, but I don’t think Uncle Dan ever has.”

“If one of your uncles lived in Diagon, he’d probably know, but that was how many years ago? And this is a lot more complex than a record player.”

Even Neville has seen enchanted record players – hell, Anthony  _ owns _ one. “When will they be back in the U.K.?” Neville asks.

Anthony runs his hands through his hair. “Er, I’ll see them for my cousins’ B’nei Mitzvah, but I’ll be flying out to America for that. But my grandparents live in a pretty Muggle area; I’m sure they can hold onto it until I see my cousin again.”

So that’s exactly what they do. They stop by the following afternoon, early on, having owled ahead. Anthony’s grandmother takes one look at them, pulls them both in for a hug, and ushers them inside.

“Have you eaten?” she asks.

“We were going to get lunch afterward,” Anthony says.

“Nonsense,” Anthony’s grandmother says. “You can eat here. I was just about to start lunch.”

Neville gets the feeling that this isn’t the sort of offer you can just say no to. The look on Anthony’s face tells him he’s right.

“We’d love to, Mrs. Goldstein,” Neville says. “Thank you.”

Anthony’s grandmother smiles and turns to Anthony. She says something in a language Neville doesn’t understand but is pretty sure is Yiddish.

Whatever Anthony’s reply is, he’s blushing as his grandmother goes into the kitchen.

“What was that about?” Neville asks sotto voce.

Anthony’s blush only deepens. “She said you’re a nice boy and I shouldn’t get rid of you.”

Neville sort of feels like maybe that’s not the whole story, but it’s not really worth pushing. “Don’t worry,” he says.  _ “I’m _ definitely not planning on getting rid of  _ you.” _

“Good,” Anthony says, kissing his cheek. “Because I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Neville says.

* * *

In the end, Anthony’s grandmother agrees to hold the toy, which has been silent since they left their flat.

“I don’t know what Isaac was thinking, letting Jonathan give you something electronic,” she says. “I didn’t even want to waste money on a television when he was a child. No one could tell me the threshold for magical activity affecting Muggle technology.”

“I think he and Uncle Dan have lived with Muggle neighbours long enough that they didn’t realise what sorts of issues it’d cause,” Anthony says.

“Even so,” she says. “He should have known better.”

Anthony doesn’t press the issue, and neither does Neville, who’s just looking forward to the peace and quiet. “Do you know if they’re coming for Pesach?” Anthony asks.

“They should be,” his grandmother says. “They haven’t told me otherwise.”

“It’ll be good to see them,” Anthony says. “Nev, you should come to Pesach here with me this year.”

“Oh,” Neville says. “Are you sure? I’m not Jewish; I don’t know all the traditions.”

“That’s fine,” Anthony says. “You don’t need to be Jewish. I’d like you to come.”

“Then I’d love to come,” Neville says.

Anthony grins and leans in to kiss him chastely on the lips. His grandmother is, after all, sitting just across the table. “Lovely,” Anthony says. “I apologise in advance for all the arguments my Uncle Isaac and Aunt Miri are going to get into.”

Neville laughs. “I’m sure it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“You say that now,” Anthony says. “My Bubbe can back me up – they  _ always _ find something to argue about.”

“We’re Jewish,” Anthony’s grandmother says. “But Isaac and Miri do take it too far.”

* * *

When they get home, it is to a blissfully quiet flat.

Anthony pulls him into a deep, passionate kiss. Soon, they’re tugging off each other’s clothes as well as their own and Neville is pulling Anthony toward the bedroom. 

He kisses every inch of Anthony he can reach. He loves him. He still can’t believe that they’re lucky enough to have found each other, especially after everything they’ve been through. 

Afterward, the only sound in the flat is their breathing.

It’s absolutely wonderful.

Anthony rolls over and buries his face in the crook of Neville’s neck. “I’m so glad we don’t have to deal with that thing anymore.”

“Maybe tell your cousins to avoid sending you Muggle electronics from now on,” Neville says.

“What, you  _ don’t _ want an entire spare room full of terrifying Muggle toys that turn on and off of their own accord?” Anthony teases.

“No,” Neville said. “Though if you’re really so determined to have  _ something _ making noise, we can get a cat.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com)!  
Please feel free to join my [Harry Potter discord server](https://discord.gg/yb6bS3c)!


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